A record in the making

For nearly two months now, I have been writing down in a little daily planner/assignment book every dinner that I have eaten. If it was some great concoction that I whipped up of junk in the pantry to an actual planned meal (gasp!), great eat outs (love you Mochi Kitchen!) to run of the mill hungry and cheap Taco Bell, I wrote it down. Every night. Well, with the exception of maybe three nights in the span of the sixty that have gone by since I started - I was way too busy to remember three days back what I had eaten. Moving, building a new house, and chasing after my now one-year old daughter may have something to do with that.

Then, the few nights like tonight come along where I feel like I blew it. I ate dinner. I ate a vegan dinner, or at least knowingly vegan (some bread may have had eggs, milk, butter, in it, but I won't die...). But the fact that I have to write down that I ate an ENTIRE medium sized pizza from Domino's is a little shameful. Oh, did I mention the half of a box of bread sticks with marinara? Or the Dr. Pepper I had to drink with it? Yeah, that blew my whole concept of write-down-dinner-so-you-don't-eat-like-crap plan that I was aiming for totally out of the water. Oh well.

I have noticed though that I no longer have the guilt factor attached to my eating habits. Just because I may have even a bit too much (ok, way too much) tonight, I won't mope about it tomorrow and starve myself with just a measily lettuce and tomato salad. I realize that my body was telling me that I was hungry and it needed food. I may not have given it the best quality of food, and I acknowledge that. I no longer obsess about how many carbs or calories or grams of this or that I had and then try to balance it out with the items I eat the next day. I eat because I'm hungry. I eat because I need energy. And 90% of the time I'll eat pretty good. The other 10% can be split between the "could have added more veggies to that homemade pizza" or "should have had brown rice instead of white rice" category.

Maybe one of these days I'll be brave enough to post my dinners list on here. If I don't feel to put down at how the list started and turned ok, then not-so-good, then better. The typical rollercoaster of being busy. But that's for another post, when I have more guts to post.